This week’s playlist is probably more emotional and dramatic than I intended.
I’ve been thinking a lot about the concept of ‘home’ lately.
The other night when I was returning to Edinburgh, I associated it with going home. It made me really wonder if ‘home’ was only a physical place or if ‘home’ could also be a state of mind. Whether you could call two different places ‘home’ for very different reasons.
Lawrence will always be my hometown. It’s where I grew up. It’s where I learned how to read, how ride a bike, and drive a car. But, I am slowly finding that starting a new chapter in my life here in Edinburgh is creating a new sense of home. Maybe it’s because I left everything behind to move here. I had to start over completely and not just in a ‘starting college.’ I didn’t know anyone. All my friends and family are over 3,000 miles away. I knew that when I got on the plane that I wouldn’t see them for at least five months. I was forced to find a new home because I left my other one on the other side of the Atlantic. But, I made a conscious choice in coming here. I knew that I would have to completely start over and while that terrified me – I knew that it was something that I had to do.
I guess maybe it has to do with a sense of belonging. I always felt a little out of place in Lawrence – like there was always something missing. I don’t really feel that same ‘out of placeness’ here.