I crack an egg into the pan and watch the clouds move over the castle.  It’s quiet here, just after 7 AM.  I had stayed with my mom last night after coming back late from dinner.  This morning, the cab dropped me off at my door and then took my mom to the airport.  I just got a text from her, she’s all checked in and ready for her flight back to America.

I had unlocked the door to my flat, took a shower, washed my greasy hair, and then set to make breakfast.  The pan sizzles as the egg scrambles.  I pick through the refrigerator and grab my sticky tub of butter, a clean packet of smoked salmon, and a nearly empty jar of blackberry jam.  The toaster pops up and I grab the two crispy pieces of bread.

I pause by the window.  The clouds move over the castle.  I spread jam on one of the pieces of toast and butter on the other.  I layer scrambled eggs and smoked salmon on the buttered toast.  Then I pour myself a cup of tea and sit by the window watching the clouds move over the castle.

I turned twenty this morning.  Similarly to last year and the year before and the year before that… I hope that I’ve grown as a person but not changed too much.

I’m not going to write a long post this morning because I generally don’t like being fussed over or creating a fuss but I will write about a few things as I sit here watching the clouds moving over the castle.

I will write about how lucky I am to be here.  I will write about how I am living in this lovely city working toward the goal I set in my mind when I first finished that museum with my grandmother ages ago.  Each day I walk to class I pass centuries of history and it still amazes me after nearly two years.  I will write about the amazing friends I have met here who have made me part of their own little new family.  I deeply adore each and every one of them and I still can’t believe they put up with my shit.

But, I guess most importantly I will write about how as I enter my twentieth year, I am happy.  Three years ago, I was a mess of anxiety and panic attacks.  Now, I’m still a mess… but at least I’m enjoying the mess.  I’ve traveled and seen so many beautiful things from around the world.  And, I have two more excavations this summer… I just have to get through exams first.

Happy Birthday.