dear crosby, (your room still smells like french fries).

Congrats Crobmonster.  You’re officially done with high school, well, minus the actual graduation day… But, tbh no one really cares about the physical day of graduation.  It always rains and all you do is walk across the stage to get an empty diploma case (jokes on you, your real diploma hasn’t been printed yet!)

Alright.  I figured I would take this chance to write you a nice ‘lil blogpost.

I hope you enjoyed your last day in high school, but I do hope that you aren’t in the mindset that this has been/must be the best four years of your life.  Because tbh it’s not.  It won’t be.  You’ll probably miss your friends, your teachers, and that gross but sweetly nostalgic smell of old hummus that haunts the hallways of LHS *shudder.* Keep in touch with as many or as few as you want, but, now, clean the mold out of your locker and leave. (But, not before thanking your teachers.  Dammit Crob, go back inside right now and thank those wonderful humans.)  But yeah, don’t stick around.  Get out and go.  Don’t dwell in the past, especially when it comes to high school.  No one is going to care at all in a year.  You’ve past the high school milestone in your life, but this isn’t like on a road trip when you get out of your car and and take a gazillion photos with the ‘Welcome to Colorado’ sign.  You’re going seventy-five and have no time to stop, because Cr(ur feet smell)osby, I know, mom and dad know, your teachers and friends know that you’re headed to something cooler than just the ‘Welcome to Colorado’ sign.

I know you’ve had a pretty rough time these last four years.  (I hope that at least for the first two I was able to help a bit?) But, truthies Crobula? I know you’re really scared of growing up and leaving and you think that by graduating that you’ll have to start acting all adult and shit.  Lol nope.  In fact, the people who act really adult right out of high school are probably the most insecure and worried about their future.  They’ll tell you that ‘being mature is the best thing since sliced bread’ as they sip their disgusting cold brew coffee.  The real secret, Bobsby?  Maturity is circumstantial.  Meaning you’ll learn when it is appropriate to at 2 am shout ‘Down it Fresher’ to yourself as your drink an entire bottle of Malibu while covered in 200 googley eyes versus when you need to assure the director of the bank that all your paperwork is in order and that you have the right forms of ID and signatures to be made a signatory on a bank account.  See, Crib, completely circumstantial.

Alright enough about high school (*whispers* because no one cares).  Now onto University.  I’ll give you a bigger pep talk this August but for now…

I know you’re worried about making friends.  I mean aren’t we all?  But, trust me on this one.  There will be plenty of theatre loving weirdos for you to hang out with.  It’s a weird thing: once you get to a place that specialises in something people who like that thing… *hides behind my hand and whispers* they are everywhere.  I think it’s a government conspiracy.  And for that first week of classes?  Everyone is going to be scrambling to make friends.  Sometimes the people you meet in week one are going to be your best friends, other times they are going to be the ones to introduce you to your best friends.  Either way.  Chillax, Bing.

Have fun this summer.  Hang out with your friends and enjoy having dad do your laundry.  Don’t think of it as your last, it’s just the prologue of the sequel that ended up being better than the first sorta like The Empire Strikes Back.  High school is over for you.  But, I bet you that you’re going to be sad for like 0.00000000003 seconds because I know how excited you are to start at Cornell this fall.  Congrats Bob.

Now thank your teachers and leave.

– ur older, wiser, and infinitely cooler sister

p.s enjoy the playlist. i only put i musical song it on because i can’t stand musicals.

p.p.s ur room still smells like fries.

2 thoughts on “dear crosby, (your room still smells like french fries).

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