lightbulb shopping

Hey friends on both sides of the Atlantic and shoutout to a special few in the Pacific! It’s been a hot minute since you last heard from me. Apologies. Times have been wild. Essays have been written. Holidays happened. I got in and out of America without getting Covid. Wild times indeed.

But, now it’s spring. I’m back in Scotland. The sun stays up longer and the flowers are starting to bloom.

Anyway here’s what you missed (on Glee!):

  • I moved back to Scotland and started my Masters. Balancing hybrid teaching was a lot at first. I spent a lot of my time in my hermitage cell instead of in the classroom. Not gonna lie, it was a little isolating and made it harder to connect with the usual networks I had before.
  • BUT! I went to Ikea and purchased a green chair which not only looks beautiful in my window but is an excellent space to work.

(This is a massive aside, but I have a list of things that I want to acquire I move into my elder years. One of which is a mid-century modern green velvet couch™️. I figured the chair is a good first step. And if you’re curious, the others are (in no particular order with achievements struck out): a really nice record player, two cats named Florence and Henry, a really nice bike, floor to ceiling bookshelves with a roller ladder, a copper kitchen with a green hexagonal tile backsplash, and a clawfoot soak tub.)

  • My parent’s also shipped my bike to Scotland. I took it north back in December and cycled around Eilean Donan Castle. I also spent a weekend at the Bothy with Yummick pals.
  • I’ve completed two courses with the other four finishing this semester. There are some big (but cool!) projects upcoming. As always, March is going to be hell. It’s fine.
  • BUT! I’m doing what I can to get ahead and limit the hellfire.

I’m going to London soon to meet up with some dear friends. They all have big girl jobs now and I, the groveling student, want (and need) attention. It’s mostly going to be visiting bookstores and probably the Glossier shop because I am nothing if not a #materialgirl.

But, I guess the real reason for this post is to check back in and assure you all that I am surviving and might even be thriving again soon. Which I guess brings me to the next point. I’ve always been a private person. I really hate talking about myself, which is why most of my updates have been recounts of stuff I do. That being said, I think there’s a responsibility to acknowledge what is seen and read online (or heard in person) is the highlights reel. It’s the curated listing of COOL STUFF!

The story in-between the highlights has been a lot of lightbulb shopping.

I’m a writer. I speak in metaphors and here’s a long one.

The last three (?) years have been a lot. Duh. I moved back to the States and started into my professional life only to get curtailed by a global pandemic which saw me defer my Masters and do some good stuff™️ instead. And I loved it, but it was … a lot. I don’t think I need to rehash it all. Then I moved back to Scotland and tried to fit into the skin I left here… only to find that it doesn’t entirely fit anymore.

I’m a different person. Duh. It’s obvious, but part of me didn’t want to admit it. This city is a different landscape. It’s filled with memories and whispers, but the threads fade like shadows beyond my grasp.

I’m still understanding what this city means now. What I want from it and what I want from the world. If these past seven years of transitory, trans-Atlantic existence have taught me anything it’s that I just want to make the world better and I know sometimes I don’t always make that happen. But! I do believe everyone deserves the chance to chase their dreams until they tire of the road.

We’re all burned out. We’re all lightbulb shopping for the next big, bright thing and that’s okay. As my dear Anne Shirley would say, this is just another bend in the road. For as much as I love the mountains, I should be used to bends in the road. And, I know times are changing and things are so, so close. I just know there’s a glen ahead through this bend and I am doing everything to reach it.

I’m over half way through my Masters … three years after I thought. But that’s okay. It’s okay because there are so many opportunities on the horizon and because this is my blog and you’re willingly reading it, I’m allowed to brag about things. I was just awarded a pretty amazing academic Fellowship through the US Department of the Interior and National Parks Service. More on that later, but I am so, so excited to take on this opportunity and see my research get used for something good.

So yeah. That’s been me that last few months.

Thanks for coming to my TedTalk. ✌️

4 thoughts on “lightbulb shopping

  1. debbydqsmithgmailcom says:

    Can’t wait to read about the next chapter in your adventure you call your life!!!!!
    Thank for allowing me to live vicariously through you!!!


  2. Anonymous says:

    Amazing to see you posting again. Life has a funny way of taking us down paths we never anticipated then amazing us with the beauty, unexpected opportunities and uniqueness of the new, previously unknown, road. Love, Padre


  3. Jean says:

    Hang in there lovely lady. You have an exciting few months ahead of you. Take charge and do great!! Can’t wait to see you in April.
    Love Mom


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